Fortunately, Unfortunately

I am going to be such a good blogger. From now on, two posts per week is going to be the minimum- none of this two posts per month business. I want legions of adoring fans, and to keep them coming back for more, there’ll have to be more material.

Why should legions of fans read my blog? For one, my grammar and spelling is purdy good, unless I’m deliberately trying to be silly or make a point. I can’t stand to read blogs that are more like IM conversations and have second-grade grammar. Another reason to read is that if you are female, 20-something, a Strong Bad fan, a Democrat, college-educated, overqualified for your job, have mood swings of epic proportions, ever shared an apartment with someone you hated, have a boyfriend that you think is The Best, are addicted to The Apprentice, love trashy shows on VH1, were raised in Washington state, live in New York, drive a Dodge Neon with squeaky brakes even though it’s only got 15,000 miles on it, frequently have your name misspelled, have a sarcastic sense of humor, or read blogs, then you’ve got something in common with me.

Speaking of trashy shows on VH1, have you seen Motormouth, where they secretly film people singing in their cars? I would be hilarious on the show because if I’m in a good mood, I’ll often meow to the music. Meowing is excellent if you don’t know all the words, and can even be applied to drums, bass, or guitar riffs. To the tune of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”: “Meow meow meow-meow meow meoooowww, meow meow meow meow meeeeowww.”