Friday, July 04, 2003
So it's the 4th of July. U, I'm really exhausted, but F it was a good day in all. Went in to the lab for a little over an hour, then went for another run out on the path I discovered the other day. Stopped at 3 miles and no pain. It was awfully hot out, but that didn't spoil the run. Went up to Homer for Ryan's brother's pirate-themed 6th birthday party. ARRRRR! They really went all-out with the decorations, but U the adults didn't really get into it. Well...one went a little overboard, I guess that makes up for the rest? Ian came too, and when he heard that I've never had a birthday party, he promised to throw one for me. I'll hold him to it- complete with balloon animals, party favors, and a clown (sounds like a job for Tones). And presents! I'm not being too greedy, am I? Nothing expensive, I just enjoy the element of surprise and it'd be fun to get some toys.
All in all, my birthdays have generally been disappointing. I mean, I wake up and figure that it's my special day so I should be happy and have a good time, but it's not like life bends over backwards to make sure that everything goes your way on your birthday. My family isn't big on celebrating them and never let me have parties growing up. I was just trying to pick out which birthday has been the most disappointing, and it's a tough call really. 16 was pretty depressing. You know, all those "sweet sixteen" expectations and all. It was MLK Jr day, so we didn't have school, but me and my brother just sat around watching TV all day. 20 was pretty bad- it was the Friday before classes started after winter break and my friends weren't back yet. I had cabin fever from sitting around inside all day not talking to anyone, and I could see a party going on at the frat next to McFaddin from outside my window, so I decided to go over. It was really crowded and there was nothing left to drink and I didn't know anyone, so I left after 15 minutes. I felt abandoned, really. There's the feeling that since it's your birthday things should go your way, but I think I just went home and cried myself to sleep. When Jen came back the next day she brought a cake, which was really nice, but it still didn't fix that I felt alone on my birthday. I also felt really alone on 21, even though I wasn't really. On midnight Saturday (techincally Sunday) before classes started I met Liz, Helen, Adam, and Will at Ruloff's. They'd already been there a while and were tired and left one by one until me and Helen called it a night around 1:00. I'd had 2 drinks, a far cry from the raucous 21st that I'd always envisioned. The afternoon and evening of my birthday I spent baking myself a cake. The apartment was empty, I talked to my mom for a little while on the phone, and that was it. Not really any human contact then, either.
Damn this is depressing. How about my best birthday? For 18, Tessa did something special for me in each of my classes. First period I got 18 orange roses (orange is an inside joke of ours, and they're so much more original than other colors), 2nd period I got balloons, 3rd and 4th I can't quite remember, 5th I got chocolates and scented candles, and 6th was a box of cake mix because bringing an acutal cake would've been tough. It wasn't the actual gifts, it was the thoughtfulness and surprise of it. She also came through with a big surprise for my 17th, and though it was pretty embarassing, it's something I can laugh about today.
So much for the 4th of July topic that I'd planned...maybe another day!
All in all, my birthdays have generally been disappointing. I mean, I wake up and figure that it's my special day so I should be happy and have a good time, but it's not like life bends over backwards to make sure that everything goes your way on your birthday. My family isn't big on celebrating them and never let me have parties growing up. I was just trying to pick out which birthday has been the most disappointing, and it's a tough call really. 16 was pretty depressing. You know, all those "sweet sixteen" expectations and all. It was MLK Jr day, so we didn't have school, but me and my brother just sat around watching TV all day. 20 was pretty bad- it was the Friday before classes started after winter break and my friends weren't back yet. I had cabin fever from sitting around inside all day not talking to anyone, and I could see a party going on at the frat next to McFaddin from outside my window, so I decided to go over. It was really crowded and there was nothing left to drink and I didn't know anyone, so I left after 15 minutes. I felt abandoned, really. There's the feeling that since it's your birthday things should go your way, but I think I just went home and cried myself to sleep. When Jen came back the next day she brought a cake, which was really nice, but it still didn't fix that I felt alone on my birthday. I also felt really alone on 21, even though I wasn't really. On midnight Saturday (techincally Sunday) before classes started I met Liz, Helen, Adam, and Will at Ruloff's. They'd already been there a while and were tired and left one by one until me and Helen called it a night around 1:00. I'd had 2 drinks, a far cry from the raucous 21st that I'd always envisioned. The afternoon and evening of my birthday I spent baking myself a cake. The apartment was empty, I talked to my mom for a little while on the phone, and that was it. Not really any human contact then, either.
Damn this is depressing. How about my best birthday? For 18, Tessa did something special for me in each of my classes. First period I got 18 orange roses (orange is an inside joke of ours, and they're so much more original than other colors), 2nd period I got balloons, 3rd and 4th I can't quite remember, 5th I got chocolates and scented candles, and 6th was a box of cake mix because bringing an acutal cake would've been tough. It wasn't the actual gifts, it was the thoughtfulness and surprise of it. She also came through with a big surprise for my 17th, and though it was pretty embarassing, it's something I can laugh about today.
So much for the 4th of July topic that I'd planned...maybe another day!
